tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
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