if you like me you must not know who I am
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
