I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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