You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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