Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
