Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
