oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
