Your mouth is God's brothel.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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