he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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