hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
