If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
You can't motorboat a personality
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
