I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
