I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We talked him into tasing himself.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You are the jesus of drinking
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize