My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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