Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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