therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
