his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
