I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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