so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
