Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
