Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
