I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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