loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
