i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
where am i from again
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
