Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
