Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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