Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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