I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
