I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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