i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
