what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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