lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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