You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
