where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
