smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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