so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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