I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
