Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
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