did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
