Little spoons don't ask big questions
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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