Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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