You're my little dorito
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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