I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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