its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
