Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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