i think i have herpe
just one?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
