If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
