I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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