It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
