Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You can't motorboat a personality
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
