There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
