So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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