Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
