Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
