:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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