Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
