So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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