You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
