I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
please don't ironically join a cult
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