My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
