i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
