Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
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