We won't sleep together?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
