i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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